Betty ford says i'm here all night
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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