Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.

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(305): View more from Florida

I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x

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(512): View more from Texas

After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.

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(909): View more from California

don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home

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(+61): View more from Australia

I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.

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