final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
