if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
