just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
