I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
