question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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