so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize