It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the day after is always just damage control
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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