If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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