you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
