we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We're too hungover to prance.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
