i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
