My sheets look like a crime scene.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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