Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
