i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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