finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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