Sry I called you an 8
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
