she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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