I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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