he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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