He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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