I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
