My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
