i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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