So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
