they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
