You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize