It's like a parade of train wrecks.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
