The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
