I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
