do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My bed smells like the plague
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