Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
