have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
