Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
