when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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