Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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