So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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