I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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