I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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