I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
