She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
