TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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