ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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