I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
