It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
