look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
40s are totally the cure
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
