It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I intend to get homeless drunk
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
