how can u be prego again
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
