are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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