I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
