I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
