remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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