That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
