Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize